Monday, November 17, 2008

About Me

Ok. For those curious on how someone can go 38 1/2 years without kissing, you must think I am a complete loser or dog ugly. Actually, both are untrue. It's true I am overweight. I am probably 50-60 pounds above my ideal weight and it does play with my self conscious. It seems I've always had some sort of vice that kept me from being as confident as I could have been. Flashback to elementary school. I was the typical nerd in every shape of the word. I had these huge coke bottle glasses and ears that stuck out far from my head. One bully used to flick me on the ears every chance he got and I was constantly been made fun of. One of my freshman year class pictures says it all. I was in the far far corner by myself, greasy hair in full view looking extremely pitiful. It wasn't until a friend of my sister's turned me around who was nice enough to talk to me and turned me around to where I was confident enough for the front row my senior year. However, I hated wearing glasses and contacts always tended to irritate my eyes. Finally in 1998 I was fortunate enough to get eye surgery but by that time the dreaded weight gain was upon me. Flash forward to 2008, I am overweight and balding.. sigh.

But that is me in the physical sense. As for other things about me, I am not a bum sitting in a cardboard box. I have always lived alone ever since my junior year of college. I never had a roommate and that might have helped my situation looking back... but I have always had enough for rent and even for getting my first house when I was 26. My non drinking status keeps me from going to the bars and doing the bar scene. I don't want to pick up just anyone and "kiss" and as a Christian, I don't have any desire to. So what does someone do who doesn't do the bar scene / dance club? I was hoping a cute dog would help. I have owned my dog for 11 years and although she has helped broken the ice, it's never gone farther than that. I have tryed the library and grocery stores, but nothing ever came from that either. I have tryed online "dating" and after spending $150 for 9 months on Eharmony, I realized that wasn't for me either. My church singles group has no one I'm interested in beyond friendship. I even bought $125 Wicked tickets, but the lack of prospects may mean another Christmas gift for my sister. Not having a girlfriend sucks, but I think not having any prospects of girlfriends sucks even more.

I might edit this post later, but I see it is 3:51 am. I'd better go to bed...

NBK

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